Madame's Diary

An animal in each of us
April 17, 2003

Tell me if you agree or disagree: not too far under the surface, there’s an animal inside of each of us. Which one is inside you? In ZUMANITY, that line is always being blurred. Take Jacobo, for instance. He drifts in and out of here like a chimera. I, for one, am finding it hard to tell the difference between him and Sophie, that snake of his.


You should see the Dancers
April 21, 2003

I thought that walking was easy. But that’s before I met these dancers! They walk by and everybody’s head turns. You can tell that some of them were classical dancers before they joined ZUMANITY. You should see them in Cirque du Soleil’s cafeteria. I thought I’d get accustomed to sharing my lunch with performers, but these ones are so sexy that you just forget to eat. Fortunately, Joey was there to comfort me: “Your boobs are OK, although your butt needs a little exercise.” Nice try, Joey! ;-)


El Siete's Latin Charm
April 22, 2003

How do you like your men and women? I don’t know about you, but I like mine dark and spicy. Today, El Siete’s been by to see me again—oh my God! You should have seen him … He’s all charm, so suave. You know how Latins are. He’ll promise you the moon, and he may even deliver it … for a while. As usual, the girl on his arm was eating out of his hand. I just think he takes this gallant thing of his a bit too far, though. If he weren’t so smooth, he’d almost be ludicrous.


Dancers with a lick of a whip
April 24, 2003

Talking about dancers, I just realized last week how hard this work was. There was a photo shoot for the posters and they had to put make-up on their bodies. It isn't that easy, though, when your body is covered with bruises because of all the times you've fallen. I even heard that some artists got their bruises from the licks of a whip. But it's only a rumour, you know...


Alex: the strong but sensitive type
April 28, 2003

Alex is so sweet. He's always there to lend a strong hand. But he may have been pushed a little too hard at the press conference for ZUMANITY. It seems that the curtain revealing the ZUMANITY logo just wouldn't drop. So Alex jumped in to help by pulling on the release rope as hard as he could. But, try as he might, the curtain still wouldn't budge. My, what a delicious prank. He looked so hurt! That's the thing about bodybuilders: they're so sensitive about their virility. Wouldn't you agree?


Mademoiselle Loup
May 1, 2003

Do we really need other people? I mean, really? Some people get off on being alone. Take Mademoiselle Loup: every time I see her, she's wrapped up in herself. She knows when someone's watching her, and it excites her. So how alone is she, I wonder?


Not as naïve as she looks...
May 8, 2003

I saw Illusia showing her friend Illaria around. They look so young... and they seem so close to one another. You know, holding hands, sharing secrets. Illusia is amazing. She knows the ins and outs of this place like she’s been here for years. And Illaria seems so eager to learn! Anyway, I can’t wait to see what mysteries they’ve uncovered in all those dark corners...


A state of mind
May 15, 2003

I'm so impressed! I mean, I knew it would be intimate, cozy and inviting but it's still a construction site at this time. Why, I ask, does this place suck me into such a state of mind? From everywhere in this theatre I feel like I'm plunging into the stage, which is, for now, just a metal structure. It's like all these curves everywhere touch me with a sensual caress, they envelop me in this amazing coziness. I still can't believe 1,200 people are going to fit in there, it seems so casual and laid-back. I think somehow the theatre itself opens up channels of communication between everyone and everything inside it...


High heels
May 27, 2003

Some days, you’d think this show was a fashion extravaganza, with the catwalk and Thierry’s fabulous costumes... I especially get that feeling when I see the artists who walk around the Studio, cafeteria and patio with these vertiginous heels, trying to stay on top of them. I must say, though, it does give them quite a bit of character!


Viper skin
June 2, 2003

They keep stopping the rehearsals because of Eve - as if there were enough time at this point to stop rehearsals continually! Then again, if you’re sweating so much that your partner can’t hold you anymore... You’ve got to admit that’s pretty hilarious. Dear Eve, we forgive you for having viper skin, sweetie.


June 5, 2003

I’ve been getting quite a bit of reader’s mail lately. This is one letter I just had to share with you:


    I love you but you already knew that! How can I make you happy? May I kiss your feet and your knees and that lovely spot in the hollow of your throat? May the sensuality linger. May the warmth blanket you always. May the boldest love always rule.

    Cheers and cigars from the Strip,

Thank you, Cat – I love to be kissed in that lovely spot in the hollow of my throat!


Making the move
June 12, 2003

And they thought moving to Las Vegas would be a walk in the park… Now look at these fashionistas trying to fit their entire wardrobe into their luggage! For my part, I’m not too worried; I’ll only bring a few things, and then I’ll go for a shopping spree as soon as I get there. Now that’s what I call entertainment!


Snake Spa
June 19, 2003

Adam and Eve have finally left for Vegas… No matter how cold-blooded they are, I still feel we had a real connection, and I’m starting to miss them tremendously. Apparently, they are a little aggressive right now. I can understand – I mean, a five-hour flight, an inspection by the Fish and Wildlife Federation, and then a full-check up? I would be a little disturbed myself. But I take comfort in knowing they will spend the next two weeks in a “snake spa” with fellow vipers. Take care, little ones; I’ll see you soon!


Digitally Yours
February 17, 2005

I am so excited. Today I got my hot little hands on something … well, hot! The new ZUMANITY CD is at large and ready to tantalize.

I couldn’t wait to strip off its cellophane wrap and ease it from its delectable case. Then I slipped into something comfortable and let the music gently nibble at my ears.

From the haunting chants in “En Zum” to the caressing whispers in “Per Sempre” to my personal favourite, “The Good Thing” (you’ll know why when you hear it!), this CD takes the experience of the show to another level.

The ZUMANITY CD is a gentle memory of unbridled passion. It can slip subtly into the background or take centre stage and provide the backdrop to a wonderfully exciting evening. It is truly inspired and translates the show in such a tantalizing and seductive way that it has taken its place as the official soundtrack of my love life.


Review: Longing for Lovesick
April 24, 2005

Oh, the things my eyes have seen! And oh, the things your eyes will see when you sit down for this fascinating movie; it will leave you lovesick. In case you haven’t heard, Lovesick is the documentary featuring the lives of five incredible creatures from the human zoo. And it’s simply fabulous!

Alex is torn between two lovers; whom will he choose? Jonel is planning to get married; will she? Laetitia is worried about her dad; will he discover what his little girl went off to America to do? Andrew hits the highs and lows a little too hard; how will his new family take the news? Finally, Joey is Joey; who could ask for more? And, oh yeah, there is the small matter of the show being created!

Lovesick is an intense, sensual and chaotic journey. It’s ANOTHER SIDE OF CIRQUE DU SOLEIL that features the many facets of the personal lives of some folks from the show. It had me riveted to my loveseat yearning for more at each delicious turn and in the end, it left me longing for Lovesick!

Note: Sign up for Zumail and I will be sure to let you know when Lovesick comes to a TV station near you.


Seducing the Lens
July 1, 2005

A few short months ago the crew from Playboy dropped by the ZUMANITY theatre for a rather intimate rendezvous with eight gorgeous seductresses from the show. On that day "show" was the operative word and the voyeur in me just had to take a peek.

There was a lot of nervous tension around the stage as the ladies got up one by one to bare it all and strike a pose for the intimate lens. Concentrating on holding a pose had to be a difficult task for these lovely creatures trained for movement but they managed to hide it perfectly behind a sultry smile. It was a different kind of experience for them: they had to find a whole new comfort level as they exposed themselves in front of their extended family and a group of strangers - a problem that I personally don't share!

Oh yeah. In case you were wondering, this super special, sensual spread is part of the August 2005 issue of Playboy.

I thought I would end with a little T&A. Oops! I mean a little Q&A!


Q. How was posing for Playboy different from performing in ZUMANITY?

In my profession as a dancer, I'm always moving. But a photo shoot is very statuesque. You stay immobile, trying to combine the right lighting, the right position and the right angle for your body. It can be hard for a dancer not to move, to be patient. But both dancing and posing for Playboy are alike in that they both ask me to be seductive.

Q. What was the most memorable moment in your photo shoot?

I will always remember, even when I look back on the experience in a few years' time, how nice the photographer (Steve Wayda) was. He finally made me feel comfortable ... and believe me, I was very nervous and anxious about the idea of posing that naked in front of him and his team for the sexiest magazine in the world. I was relaxed and my boyfriend was there too, so it's an experience that I have shared with my man. He was joking all the time, so it was actually really fun!


Q. How was posing for Playboy different from performing in ZUMANITY?

Well, for one thing there were no clothes at all ... so that was different! Posing for Playboy also allowed for a lot more improvisation.

Q. What was the most memorable moment in your photo shoot?

I was on my best behaviour and the photographer's team was on their best behaviour (very professional) so there were no accidental slip ups whatsoever with me ... [laughs].


Q. How was posing for Playboy different from performing in ZUMANITY?

It wasn't very different. We just had to hold our positions a lot longer.

Q. What was the most memorable moment in your photo shoot?

What I was doing was trying to keep my legs together most of the time under the water!


Q. How was posing for Playboy different from performing in ZUMANITY?

It was funny and there was no danger!

Q. What was the most memorable moment in your photo shoot?

Having trouble with white stockings that were not right for the picture. And having the thought that I'm walking around naked!


Q. How was posing for Playboy different from performing in ZUMANITY?

I play the vixen and when I perform every inch of my body is alive. In dance there is beauty and energy and movement is endless. But a picture is worth a thousand words.

Q. What was the most memorable moment in your photo shoot?

We went through at least three cows - gallons and gallons of milk were poured over my body. It was never-ending! My skin felt great. I guess now I know what it's like to be Cleopatra!


Q. How was posing for Playboy different from performing in ZUMANITY?

In ZUMANITY you can show more character, personality and attitude. The magazine is beautiful, but it's much more difficult to give that energy to a photograph.

Q. What was the most memorable moment in your photo shoot?

I was so embarrassed by the fact that six of my cast mates were so close to me while I was posing nude. We're all friends, but I think it was a little awkward for all of us. There was a lot of nervous laughter!!


Q. How was posing for Playboy different from performing in ZUMANITY?

All your guards are down when you do Playboy. You're at your most vulnerable and all your insecurities are exposed. How many million people read Playboy in a month? Millions! So once you're on paper ... you're on paper.

Q. What was the most memorable moment in your photo shoot?

All of the men below looking up at me as I was posing. That probably scared me more than the photo shoot itself!


Q. How was posing for Playboy different from performing in ZUMANITY?

Performing in the show is giving everything you have to the public. With photos you keep secrets to yourself.

Q. What was the most memorable moment in your photo shoot?

The theatre suddenly looking like a spaceship, very technical and mysterious.


New Zumans
January 16, 2006

Extra! Extra! The New York , New York hotel has just been invaded ... by six new creatures. My eclectic circle of friends and I are thrilled to have them among us, and we look forward to seeing a lot more of them. And so will you!

It is with enormous pleasure that I introduce to you the latest sensual additions to the Human Zoo...

Nicky Dewhurst, who adds comic relief as Christian, has shed his old persona of the Man in Pink from Mystère... and that's not all he sheds! Nicky confesses that this is the most naked he has ever been on stage, but like he says: “It's all just part of the costume!” I love how the costume maker put that twinkle in his eye.

Shannan Calcutt, who adds comic relief as Izzy, comes to us from Canada's west coast. She brings a fresh new face and a refreshing new act, but has most certainly left her inhibitions behind. She is just a darling and will leave audiences scratching their heads asking, “Are they real?” Well, I certainly will never tell.

Hugo Desmarais, who plays Spider Shadow, comes to us from the sexiest part of Canada: the French part! He is a svelte and stealthy Cerceaux artist who swings from his hoop, performing daring feats of aerial acrobatics. In this act, Hugo showcases his aerial hoops, trapeze, dance and acrobatic expertise... not to mention one incredible body!

Ariuntuya Batchuluun, has leapt from the pool at “and landed safely in a bowl of water on the ZUMANITY stage. This Mongolian beauty displays remarkable flexibility and grace in a spectacular montage of sensual poses. It is truly enchanting to watch as she and Ulziibayer create an incredible world in such a small space.

Ulziibayer Chimed, comes to us from Alegría, where she began as a child performer eleven years ago. Now she is all grown up, exhibiting her incredible talents alongside Ariuntuya in the Waterbowl. Around here she is known as “Och-kee,” but I just call her Ooh La La!

Ebon Grayman, also joins us from Alegría, where he performed Fast Track and Tissue , and enjoyed an extended run as Fleur. For ZUMANITY he has been de-fleured and has metamorphosed into an extremely agile faun ... a young predator, devilish in spirit.


A Couple of New Zumans
January 16, 2006

Pillow talk, secrets, passions, desires, seductive glances … These are a few of my favourite things!

Come a little closer, I want to whisper something in your ear about a party girl named Joanie and a top-gun stud called Nicolas. They are the latest additions to my assorted circle of creatures. They bring with them a tale of lust entwined with breathtaking acrobatic-inspired manoeuvres in a gorgeous hand-balancing duo that enraptures voyeurs with glistening muscles and passionate stares.

Joanie and Nicolas have been performing together since they met at Montréal’s National Circus School four years ago. Over the years, they’ve matured into a delightful pair, pushing the limits of their heavenly bodies into a work of living art … Pulsating with intimacy, grace, and fluid, sensual movements.

Bienvenue to ZUMANITY my lovely Joanie and Nicolas…


February 14, 2006

Just over 1,500 years ago, Pope Gelasius declared February 14 St. Valentine's Day … and just over three years ago, ZUMANITY declared February St. Valentine’s month!

I am so thrilled that we are just a few luscious days away from my favourite time of year. The Human Zoo gets a little frenzied in February, as we celebrate 28 days of love and passion in all its forms!

I recently met the delicious Ugo Mazin and cajoled a little naughtiness out of him. Enjoy!

Moi: So darling, what is your wildest fantasy?

Ugo: An eyeball rolling resurrecting flatliner of release again and again.

M: How do you appreciate a woman?

U: By giving her what she will never have.

M: Talk to me about the passion you share with that Vixen Vanessa in the Midnight Bath.

U: A cleansing indifference; we may talk clean … but it’s going to get dirty!

M: Wow! The ice in my Zumanitini just evaporated! Go on, tell a hopeless romantic about your idea of romance.

U: In a realm of the senses, staring at a subject for an hour, plunged into darkness, reduced to touch, taste and sound of three words, use them wisely.

M: My senses are tingling! Tell me Ugo, what’s your favourite body part to nibble on?

U: I would revert to squirrel mode, lick all the follicles and hair strands on the body surface, and then scuttle through, gently blowing them dry!

M: Alas, I must go now … anything you’d like to share before I get off your lap—perhaps something naughty?

U: The wet, blunt shunt cry of a slap on a willing posterior is my wakeup call in a sexual stupor.

M: Thank you sooooo much Ugo! XOXOXO

Some more seduction tips from the Human Zoo...

The Botero Sisters: “Take on a different role in the bedroom; be naughty, sexy, playful or cute.” Tip: Feed your lover; indulge in fruits such as strawberries and bananas in the bedroom.

Raven O: “An extra pair of hands is always fun; bring a friend or two or three into the mix.” Tip: Be careful when using whipped cream or dairy products; they tend to spoil easily. Instead, try honey or jellies.


Roger & Moi
May 1, 2006

Backstage at the Human Zoo is a voyeur’s paradise… It is such an amazing event to witness the whole process from powder to false eyelashes. It can literally take hours as the artists go through their nightly ritual of applying their make-up and completing their outrageous transformations.

The gorgeous beast that helps ensure each and every Zuman looks their very best each and every night joined me for a few moments under the covers… So without further ado, allow me to introduce to you Roger J. Stricker, Make-up and Wig Supervisor for ZUMANITY.

Madame: Darling, you have been at this for quite a while. Have you ever worked on anyone famous?

Roger: I’ve had the pleasure of working with everyone from Cher to Frank Sinatra.

M: Really? Old Blue Eyes? Wow! Now tell me, besides the obvious, what is it you love about the Zu?

R: I love that my job is different every day! There is never a dull moment and I never know what I am walking into when I get to work.

M: Who wears the most extravagant wig?

R: Hands down, Joey Arias. Joey’s look is made up of three pieces: a wig, a bang piece and a separate ponytail! And we have three sets. Also, you may be interested in knowing that his make-up process involves 35 separate steps!

M: Really? I had no idea! Tell me some more about the make-up in the show.

R: The make-up for ZUMANITY was designed by Nathalie Gagné and it has a more subtle, high fashion look. We also use prosthetics, false teeth and even special hand-painted contact lenses in addition to some other theatrical make-up, as well as specially designed false eyelashes, some of which you can find in the ZUMANITY Boutique.

M: I’ve heard that they now have wigs made from artificial protein hair?

R: Protein fibre is a very new product; in fact ZUMANITY is the first show in the world to use it. The fibre is made from human hair protein, mixed with a binding agent. It can be extruded to any length and can also be coloured and styled like human hair. This fibre came in very handy for the “Wind” wig, as it’s stronger than synthetic fibre and doesn’t tangle as easily.

M: How long does it take to get a wig ready for a night of fabulousness?

R: It really depends on the wig. We clean and block (shape the wig foundation) all the wigs in the show every day and then wash, set and style them. We have a staff of five people who work full time to maintain the over 100 wigs used in ZUMANITY.

M: What’s a typical day like for Roger?

R: Personally or professionally? Wink, wink... Let’s see, my workday begins usually some time after 12 p.m. At 7:15 p.m. or so, I take a look at the artists during animation and the opening “Extravaganza.” Then lunch is at 9 p.m. At 10 p.m. it’s time to do it all again and before I know it, it’s midnight. After the show, the artists bring their wigs to me and we begin cleaning the lace (the delicate fronts of the wigs) and blocking the wigs, then it’s 12:30 a.m. and time to go home. As far as my personal life goes… Between art openings, fancy dinners and jet-setting to the south of France, hah hah, I like to go to dinner with friends, movies, rock climbing, painting and, oh yes, my favourite hobby, SLEEPING!

M: We’ve all heard that dressing rooms are ripe for gossip… Got any spicy tidbits?

R: Our rule is “don’t ask, don’t tell.” Wink wink… I can’t give up all our secrets…

M: Oh come now. You simply have to give us something!

R: OK, how about this: Backstage it’s not odd to overhear one performer say to another “Keep your head in front of my crotch” or “Are my nipples crooked?”

M: Thank you, darling.

R: My pleasure.

Who is Madame?

Welcome to the world of ZUMANITY. I am your host and your guide, the High Priestess of this Garden of Delights. What is ZUMANITY? An erotic and artistic revolution! Where are we going? This shifting landscape will see us all go through a unique metamorphosis! Along the way, I’ll be taking ZUMANITY’s pulse and reporting back to you.